Avatar Shopping Community Knuffel Quests Donate Games My Account Help

Jump to:

Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Who's should be the most important?
The deceased 32%  32%  [ 48 ]
The family 45%  45%  [ 67 ]
The majority of peers 23%  23%  [ 34 ]
Total votes : 149
 Post subject: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 5th, '13, 01:28    


Stardator
Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership
Joined: Nov 23rd, '13, 05:07
Posts: 619
Location: Utah
Hugs: 1120
Mood: Life goes on...
Earlier today I had to go to the funeral of one of my friends, Robert. While it was nice to have a service for him, there were some things that really bugged me (apart from the fact that such a wonderful human being was dead.)

Robert was an atheist, and what really irritated me was the fact that the entire service was filled with prayers and hymns. Everything about it was connected to the LDS church, which is extremely prominent where I'm from. Now if he actually belonged to that church, this would be completely acceptable. However, in life Robert was not a Mormon.

Some of my friends and I felt that this was very disrespectful to the memory of Robert.

I strongly believe that funerals should be held in respect to the religion of the person who died, not what seems correct in the society around them. It should be the beliefs of the deceased.

I will admit however, that funerals may also be held for closure of the people around the person who died. So you could argue that the service should be held with the religion of the majority to help them obtain closure.

I want to know what you think? Do you agree that it should be held in the beliefs of the person who died or of the majority of people around them?

(0) (0)
Thank you Silver Fontana for my wings and drink me potion.
Thank you Tilli for my Easter Bunny
Image


    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 5th, '13, 08:59    


savage_rose
Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership
Joined: Feb 4th, '13, 19:59
Posts: 527
Hugs: 8477
Funerals are mostly for the living, so they should be comforting for them--but they honor the dead, so having a very religious ceremony for someone who was not religious seems crazy to me.

You can have a funeral for someone and remember and share the good person that they were without being religious. Hopefully your friend was someone who would have been amused by the irony of it though. I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

(0) (0)


    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 5th, '13, 09:32    


Q U E E N I E
Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership
Joined: Sep 13th, '08, 07:33
Posts: 1005
Location: Fangirl at ♥ !
Hugs: 6015
Mood: Boggled! o.0?
As a Jehovah`s Witness, i definetly believe one should respect the beliefs of the deceased. I have seen cases where the deceased was a Jehovah`s Witness and one of the family members (a daughter of the deceased) tried to recite holy mary`s at the funeral. She was quickly stopped by the rest of her family (only one son was a JW, the rest weren't) because she was not respecting the faith their mother had died in.
Another case scenerio, one of a JW whose father had died. His deceased father and the rest of his family were Catholic, so the funeral was led by a Catholic priest. To pay our respect various families from our congegation went with him, mine incluided. We sat inside the hall (it was at a funeral home) until the priest began his sermon. We all (the JW who's father had died incluided) simply stepped outside until it was over, then quietly went back in. We also took the back rows since we didnt want to disturb the other mourners. By doing it this way the JW son didnt disrespect his father.
Ultimetly, if not stated in the will, then its up to the surviving family memebers to decided how a funeral should go. So if you wish for your religion or lack of religion to be respected, make sure you write it out and explain to your family what you want.

Words are meaningless when faced with the loss of a loved one, so I can only say that I hope that one day you and his family will one day look towards his memory in fondness and not feel the pain you are feeling now.

(0) (0)
• ♡ • { I am back from the DEAD . Would anyone like to lend me their wisdom? } • ♡ •


Image


    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 5th, '13, 09:41    


Neferit
Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership
Joined: Jan 30th, '09, 13:50
Posts: 156
Location: Czech republic (or PLANET o...
Hugs: 3057
Mood: Squee!
As savage-Rose said - while the funeral is there mostly for teh living to say their farewells to the person who dies, it is also in honour of the deceased, so it can sometimes be a bit tricky when it comes to organising one.

You see, not that long ago I had been to funeral of my great-grandma. She was catholic, so it was just given that she will have a catholic funeral; meaning in church, with a whole mass and all the prayers... The part that was rather irracionally funny was that apart from great-grandma and great-grandpa (who also had church funeral), nearly no one has any idea what happens in church, and most of my family members are also rather anticlerical as well. still, I expected a bit more respect towards our beloved great-grandma than some of my family members were obviously willing to give. Believe me, I couldn't be more ashamed of my uncle than I was when the priest said "let us pray" and my uncle just blurted (and pretty loudly at that): "what, AGAIN?" And that was not all - he and my other uncle would be giggling pretty stupidly all through the funeral, so much that auntie actually smacked her husband (one uncle) and hissed at her brother (the other uncle).

So - yeah, it may have been rather irritating to you that Robert had funeral in religion he did not practice, but I would like to believe that at least he was given more respect than my great-grandma :qf:

As a Jedi I have no problems with attending last rites which are not by my religion, but I certainly would feel silly, if I didn't know how to act during the religious ceremonies. Luckily, in the instances of my great-granparents funerals I did know how to act during the mass, since I attended catholic school (which is something half of my big family obviously can't forgive me for - not that I care), but should I attend other religious ceremonies, I would probably he hiding in the back rows, trying to look as small as I could.

(0) (0)
Please feed my always hungry Knuffel!
ImageImage


    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 7th, '13, 00:44    


light_sucks
Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership
Joined: Jul 17th, '08, 06:15
Posts: 26764
Hugs: 74798
Mood: Extremely depressed
Oh man, I would have been livid in that situation. That is so beyond disrespectful.
Ugh. People make me so angry. If my boyfriend died and someone tried to make it religious there would be two funerals to go to. An atheist one, and what ever that disrespectful ass hat's was.

(0) (0)

I am djla90's main.

Debralynn's Hangout ^.^ Come chat with me!
viewtopic.php?f=17&t=51721

Here's my super awesome perler business. Show me some love, order some art!
https://www.facebook.com/debralynnashbyDDD/

Flight Rising name: DreadedDawn

RIP Wishbone. We only had you for a few months, but you were very loved.


    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 7th, '13, 09:04    


Arina Silvermoon
Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership
Joined: Jun 24th, '11, 00:13
Posts: 1181
Hugs: 2036
Hard to say exactly since the funeral is attended by those left behind. My uncle became religious in his last couple months so his service was led by a minister. What he said was very positive and uplifting so people of all stripes there seemed very happy with it. It wasn't a ritualistic service and it was held on neutral ground so it worked.

(0) (0)
Questing: 1x Moorish Idol




    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 8th, '13, 05:19    


Sierrie
Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership
Joined: May 21st, '10, 17:46
Posts: 759
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Hugs: 6490
Mood: Lovin' it :D
I think stepping out during prayers you don't agree with is more disrespectful, personally. Funerals are a place to support each other and grieve, not make a religious statement. You can remain silent during the prayer, but getting up and leaving? I can't even fathom how that's thought to be okay.

(1) (0)
Rate my art? :3 -> Link

I'm pretty bad at keeping my material sales updated... So if you need some material and there's none listed in the market, feel free to PM me. :3

Image
Yes! I finally got a gen 1 knuffel! >w<


    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 8th, '13, 06:48    


Spica
Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership
Joined: Aug 6th, '10, 07:18
Posts: 3557
Location: Lost
Hugs: 11088
I think its very disrespectful to the deceased to give them a funeral that goes against their personal beliefs. If the guests are unable to tolerate a funeral that follows the beliefs of the deceased, then I believe that they did not care enough about the deceased for their comfort to be relevant to the funeral.

Its the deceased's goddamn funeral. If he happened to ask for a BBQ complete with cake and pinata, you give him his damn pinata.

(1) (0)
Image

I am currently questing: Water Gen 1
Please contact me if you are willing to arrange a drop.

Headcanon! Knuffel Thread


    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 8th, '13, 07:58    


Sierrie
Spica wrote:
If the guests are unable to tolerate a funeral that follows the beliefs of the deceased, then I believe that they did not care enough about the deceased for their comfort to be relevant to the funeral.


Well put, Spica.

(1) (0)


    Top
Profile
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 8th, '13, 10:52    


Q U E E N I E
Stepping out is not a religious statement. A religious statement would be protesting, having your own sermon, or talking and making a scene. When stepping out is done quietly, efficiently, and without making a scene, its a sign of respect. After all, the person stepping out is in pain as well, and needs his/her own religious or non-religious confort. But by allowing everything to go on as planed, they are showing compassion to those that need the funeral rites to go on.

When the Jehovah`s Witness I meantioned earlier stepped out, he did so because he was in pain and hearing a sermon with a different religious perspective and without his own religious hope was hurtful. We believe in resurrection in paradise, not heaven or hell. So for him to hear about his father going to a place he did not believe existed was worse than knowing his father was dead. Because, as JW`s, we hold on to that hope.

Picture it as an atheist going to a Catholic funeral (since I am hispanic and most of my outer family is Catholic, this is the religion I am most familiar with, the exception being my own). An atheist doesn't want to hear about where a person goes to when he is good or bad. He doesn't care about hearing a minister recite prayers and other religious wordings. All he wants to hear is someone talk about his deceased loved one. He wants the memory of this person to go on, wants to be conforted by knowing that there were many that loved this person, that this person will live on in their hearts. Some might be strong enough to withstand the religious rites they dislike, but others may be too delicate or have such a strong a dislike towards religion that they could become incredibly upset, sick, mad or simply take even longer to mourn.

Everyone is different and has a different way of mourning. Some, like me, can not even go to a funeral of a close relative or friend without becoming sick and vomiting or fainting. There have been times when I don't even go to a funeral because I feel so week and distraught. Is that disrespectful? I would hope it's not considered that way, since I myself am a mourner and love and respect my dead. Walking out is the same.

(0) (0)


    Top
Profile
Display posts from previous:   Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Username:

Password:


I forgot my password


Avatar






Server time: Nov 21st, '19, 04:20
Current time: Nov 21st, '19, 06:20
All times are UTC + 1 hour [ DST ]