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Who's should be the most important?
The deceased 32%  32%  [ 48 ]
The family 45%  45%  [ 67 ]
The majority of peers 23%  23%  [ 34 ]
Total votes : 149
 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 8th, '13, 18:39    


Zupprika
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I think it depends on the age of robert. If he was a minor, I guess the parnts can chose.
If he's not a minor, the situation changes. I think you should do as the deceased wanted. But if the death was an accident or something unexpected, especially with young people, the family doesn't necessarily know what the deceased wanted, because they never talked about it. The family gets to chose then.

But I don't think it really matters though. The deceased will not come to life if the funeral is religious or not. A funeral is just a ritual for the living people to say goodbye.
At least, that's my atheist point of view.

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 9th, '13, 09:32    


wolfcat87
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Yikes, I did the survey before reading what was going on. When it comes to religion, it should be about the dead person's. Their funeral, their will, their way. They only get one. Everyone else will have their own.

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 9th, '13, 22:10    


Kurai Raban
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Wow, what they did for your friend was really rude...
Yes, its true that a funeral is more for the people who are still alive... but you are also supposed to respect the person who died...
Otherwise what is the point.
I would hunt the hell out of people if they did that kind of service for me. I'm atheist, too. So that would seem more like a "f*ck you" than a good bye.
> n >

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 11th, '13, 03:27    


Sierrie
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Q U E E N I E wrote:
Picture it as an atheist going to a Catholic funeral (since I am hispanic and most of my outer family is Catholic, this is the religion I am most familiar with, the exception being my own). An atheist doesn't want to hear about where a person goes to when he is good or bad. He doesn't care about hearing a minister recite prayers and other religious wordings. All he wants to hear is someone talk about his deceased loved one. He wants the memory of this person to go on, wants to be conforted by knowing that there were many that loved this person, that this person will live on in their hearts. Some might be strong enough to withstand the religious rites they dislike, but others may be too delicate or have such a strong a dislike towards religion that they could become incredibly upset, sick, mad or simply take even longer to mourn.


Don't assume you know what an atheist wants, and don't make generalizations about us. I absolutely would NOT walk out of a friend/family member's funeral, and it's incredibly rude of you to imply I would. I think most atheists would not. Unlike you, I respect people's beliefs not to turn their funeral into a religious statement. Which, despite what you claim, is what you're doing. You inevitably call attention to yourself by walking out, no matter how quietly you do it, people will notice and realize you are doing it out of protest. Because making a show about disagreeing with their faith is more important to you than their memory. That's just disgusting. I would be very hurt if someone walked out of the funeral of one of my loved ones, and I doubt I'm alone in that.

If someone was so intolerant of my faith (or lack thereof, in my case) they have no business at my funeral.

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Dec 11th, '13, 09:18    


Q U E E N I E
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I didn't generalize. I clearly stated that everyone is different and that some can go through with it while others can't. Just because you are perfectly fine with it doesnt mean that everyone else is. I dont mean that in a purely 'atheist' sort of way. I mean that in general. In the US we have tons of cultures, therefore we have a mix of many religions. Where i am from its not uncommon to see a family with 2, 3, even 4 different religious beliefs inside of it. My own family has catolics, adventists (both seven day and modern), atheists, and jehovah witnesses. I know if I were to die, most of my family would not be comfortable sitting and listening to my beliefs. Why would I blame them for choosing not to listen, when they are the ones in pain? Sure, I would prefer they stay, but thats not up to me. And the fact that they attended at all signals their love and appreciation for me.

Besides, your friends and loved ones are those that can relate to you and understand you the best. I have gone to family funerals before, and none of them have taken offence when I choose not to listen to a priest. In fact, even those who are of the same religion step outside when things become too much.

And please, don't be so aggresive when I was simply stating my opinion. I never tried to pressume anything, I was only trying to make my point understood.

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Apr 8th, '15, 15:28    


theonewhoseeks
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People call this "paying their last respects" so they should respect the wishes of the deceased.
I live in an area where people like to force their views on others. I'm terrified that when I'm dead no one would care about my wishes. Even though I told them a thousand times that I'm an atheist, want no funeral or crying, want to be cremated and scattered in different locations, not to accidentally wake up six feet under... No mourning just remembering. :sflw:
So what they did to your friend was selfish and very disrespectful.

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Apr 9th, '15, 04:57    


Koukai Shi
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I have to warn you, theonewhoseeks, my uncle made a request that you mentioned. He wanted to be cremated and have his ashes scattered in the woods, since he enjoyed hunting and camping with his brothers, and instead my family (his mother and siblings) had him buried at one of the cemeteries in town, completely ignoring his wishes. When I tried to bring up his request, I was basically given an, "of course we're not doing that, this is more for us to have a place to go to remember him." I can't help but wonder if he would be disappointed... On his headstone, they at least had the image of the lake he lived near etched in...

As for the religion, well, my family's all Catholic. My mom had us raised Baptist. not a big difference, so I don't mind sitting through the prayers, even though I think, "man, that's kinda.. depressive." or I just say my own prayer while they're saying theirs.

As for the atheist friend, maybe have a second little get together for the friends who knew he was atheist, and remember him in the way you felt he wanted to be remembered? Services tend to be more for the people left behind, but you could always have one more for him if you want? Even if it's just ordering pizza, and sitting around telling stories about him.

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Apr 10th, '15, 17:03    


Yokuutsu
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When is the funeral ever for the dead? It never is. They're dead and gone, no matter what you believe, they're no longer in that body. They're in heaven, hell, just gone, working on reincarnation, but they are not in that body anymore.

It's for everyone else, not saying they shouldn't matched the religions up, just saying I could understand why they didn't...now if they were doing it to spite him or something, they are petty as hell. He's dead, why try to spite the dead? Just have a mini-gathering somewhere else.

When my Dad died, he was Christian I guess? But no going to church or anything so I can't be sure. The service was Christian. I have no problem with there being religion long as they aren't trying to say he's a horrible person or that he's going to hell or something. I mean, even if I wasn't a semi-christian, I'd know you're saying bad things and you shouldn't do that.

-stops rambling-

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Apr 11th, '15, 03:49    


Sanssouci
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I would be livid if I were given a religious funeral or if I were pumped full of formaldehyde. Figuratively livid of course. Because I wouldn't actually be around to know one way or another. But it would just bug me if I somehow knew that was going to happen. It would feel disrespectful to me.

But I'm also a bit of a hypocrite there. My father wants to be buried out of state with his father, but unless someone makes me do that, I'm going to cremate him and keep his ashes.

So I guess my philosophy is "my funeral is for me, and your funeral is for me!"

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 Post subject: Re: Respect, Funerals, and Religion.
Post Posted: Apr 11th, '15, 22:31    


Agito
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I personally am worried about this for myself. I dont classify myself as anything, but at the same time i put no personal interest in religion. the thing is that my parents and majority of my family is buddist, so the ceremony would probably end up buddhist.

But it brings up another question of how exactly a non-religious funeral would be held.

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