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Are these traditions outdated?
Yes! 23%  23%  [ 32 ]
Meh, it's just tradition. 11%  11%  [ 16 ]
No, keep them all! 6%  6%  [ 8 ]
Some can stay and some can go 16%  16%  [ 23 ]
Food 44%  44%  [ 61 ]
Total votes : 140
 Post subject: Re: Sexism and (Christian/Western) Wedding Traditions
Post Posted: Dec 25th, '13, 08:51    


GreenHypnosis
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Sierrie wrote:
Marriage isn't a Christian invention, so I don't know why they think they have the right to control it for everyone else.


ah that's a good point. I will remember that the next time christian representative decide they want to legally damn the marriage of certain group because their beliefs do no agree with it.

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism and (Christian/Western) Wedding Traditions
Post Posted: Dec 27th, '13, 01:01    


Dream-Baby
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When I get married I'll make my own way and not use that many traditions that are part of Christian weddings (even though I am a Christian) as there are just too many I don't agree with. :}

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism and (Christian/Western) Wedding Traditions
Post Posted: Dec 19th, '14, 03:25    


Yumi123
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Hm. I've never thought about these things, and I'm a pretty proclaimed feminist. My fiance didn't ask for permission- in fact, he proposed pretty quickly after we started dating that I wasn't even expecting it. We'll be starting our 4th year together on Valentine's Day. The ring...well, I like my ring. My hand has kind of adapted to wearing it. It doesn't feel right on any other finger. Plus, it's the only piece of jewelry I wear. The whole father walking the daughter down the aisle tradition is kinda cute in my opinion. I mean, a girl is her father's little girl until she marries.

What I find sexist is the womanly roles stuff. Where if a woman doesn't alter herself to these roles, she's not a good mother. Mom's who work get all kinds of crap for "caring more about herself than her children" and all. THAT'S the stuff that makes me boil.

And I completely agree on the homosexuality thing. Christianity isn't the only religion in the world yet some of them think that they have all kinds of say in other people's lives. They have no say in one's decision of who they love and they should not be allowed to flaunt that one verse like it's everything and ignore the possibility that the people they're using it against might not even be Christian.

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism and (Christian/Western) Wedding Traditions
Post Posted: Dec 20th, '14, 09:44    


AsheSkyler
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I think we're far enough along now some of us can indulge in some traditions just for the fun of it, and those who don't can go have the marriages they really want, whether that means exchanging vows midair, underwater, or just at the court house.

The only old tradition I absolutely balked at during my wedding was the reading of the usual Bible verse of how the woman was to be a mindless slave. I traded it out for a verse from Ruth that was based on loyalty and not subordination. But the rest we did because we enjoyed them. We didn't bother with engagement rings, and we got these pretty tungsten rings with laser-etched designs for our wedding rings. I wore a white dress, but it was a Celtic style in honor of some of my ancestors. I let my dad walk me down the aisle because it was a father/daughter moment. We were married outside on the church yard by the only (living) preacher I respect. (My other two favorites both died years prior. They were sweet, gentle men like how Christians should be.) We had unity candles, because, whee fire! We didn't dance, have music, or do dumb speeches. We did make birdseed packets, we knew the family would be upset if they couldn't throw things at us. I guess to get even for me chucking a bouquet at them and my husband throwing a garter belt at them. My fiancé did ask my dad if he could marry me because he felt it was the right thing to do, however nervous he was and despite the fact everybody knew we were getting married anyway whether we had any relatives' blessings or not. My dad joked he'd only let me go if my fiancé bought him a boat. So I bought a toy boat and gave it to him on my wedding day. Dad got a kick out of it. Strangely, neither of us ever officially proposed to the other, or even asked! It just came up in conversation one day that we'd met the one we really wanted to marry and we just went with it.

And I have a wee fascination with superstitions, so I made sure to do the "old, new, borrowed, blue" thing for giggles. It was the only straightforward one, all the others seem to have both good and bad omens hung on them. Example, if the bride cries, either the marriage is doomed, or they'll flourish along with the garden. XD

And I totally took my husband's name so I could have the initials of A.S.S. :mccool:

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 Post subject: Re: Sexism and (Christian/Western) Wedding Traditions
Post Posted: Dec 21st, '14, 16:40    


Sanssouci
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I agree, I think most American wedding traditions are really sexist and offensive. I especially don't like the fact that women are usually expected to take their husband's name (the purpose of that was to label the wife as the husband's property) and the fact that women are usually expected to wear a white dress down the aisle (which was meant to show everyone that she was a virgin).

If a woman wants to wear white or wants to change her name, fine. I just think it's a problem when women are expected to do those things or are pressured to do them even if they don't really want to. I think it's a problem when other options (like the husband taking the wife's name) are seen as weird, or less valid, or "not masculine enough."

If I ever get married, I plan on just going to the courthouse. No dress, no ring, no vows. I don't consider marriage to be a religious thing. I consider it to be just a piece of paper that gives a couple certain perks (like tax breaks, being able to share health insurance, knowing that you can visit your partner in the hospital without someone rushing you off for not being family).

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