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Agree?
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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Apr 26th, '14, 15:31    


AsheSkyler
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Works for me. If you can get hitched out of state, hop up to Maryland or somewhere. They seem the closest place you can go. And like it or lump it, same-sex marriage is recognized on a federal level and you can go Married Filing Joint on your tax return now, no matter how fussy or unfussy a preparer is about it. Not sure to what extent that's public knowledge, most people were focused on a few other major changes going on this year at the seminar.

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Apr 26th, '14, 20:00    


Arael
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My Boyfriend and I are definitely going to get married out of state, we're also likely going to end up getting his transition stuff dealt with in another state too. As soon as we can afford it we're taking the trip.

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Apr 26th, '14, 20:52    


AsheSkyler
Awesome. Best of luck. =)

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Apr 29th, '14, 01:23    


wolfcat87
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I agree that people should not just complain or be miserable. That they should remember that others have it worse. That does not mean they should not do things to make things better for themselves and others. This saying helped me to not become a depressed mess many times throughout my life.

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: May 1st, '14, 22:50    


FanDanBanana
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I grew up with some issues that have affected me to this day. As a child, I often told myself that I shouldn't feel this bad, I shouldn't be scared or sad because there were people out there who had it a lot worse than I had. I still tend to do this, and it only makes it worse, since I'm not allowing myself to feel bad, get the sadness out and move on. I've lived in an evil circle where I kept comparing myself to others and just made myself feel more guilty about being depressed. And I feel that, by telling myself that I shouldn't feel bad, I just ignored my problems. Ignoring your problems can result in a total meltdown. I speak from experience.

I am very much against using an argument like this. Even though you might not think that another persons problems are so big, we also have to remember that feelings are subjective, and people have different experiences. There might also be other underlying problems that either the person is surpressing or isn't aware of the actual problem. Where I think an argument like this can be used, is in material issues. I once had a class mate telling me, that her father was so terrible and that I didn't know how terrible she had it. She was mad that her brother had gotten a flat screen TV while she 'only' got a pink Dolce&Gabbana snake skin watch.

I once read someone argumenting that saying that you're not allowed to feel bad, because someone else has it worse than you, is like saying that you aren't allowed to be happy because someone has it better than you.

Sory for the long post :mcheh:

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Jun 25th, '14, 21:15    


Skyefrost
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God yes this...my cousin is the horrible with this but she turns it to be "Don't complain because I have it worse!"....And she wonders why I don't speak to her about my problems, What worse is that she tried to force me to speak with her... I get that she sees me as a spoiled brat (I'm an adult but our age difference are 20+ years), but seriously?

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Jun 27th, '14, 04:20    


Nenesha
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It's really irritating when people say that sort of thing. Just because someone has it worse doesn't mean other people can't complain. Plus, different people experience different things in different ways, so what's bad for one person might not be so bad for another.

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Jun 27th, '14, 09:12    


Rhyme
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I agree. By that logic, the person who has it the most worst(???) in the whole world is the only one who can complain.

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Jul 27th, '14, 22:32    


Agito
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Interesting. I don't really use this argument; i usually just say that the situation could be worse.

I agree though. It's also the part that sometimes we are demeaning the people who are in worse situations.

Canada's a great place guys. We actually just had world pride (really wish i could have gone, rents wouldnt let me but i got to see where queer as folk was filmed yay).

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 Post subject: Re: "Don't complain, some people have it worse!" is bullshit
Post Posted: Jul 30th, '14, 00:30    


Telos
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In general, I think the "Others have it worse" idea is supposed to be a reminder to keep it in perspective: There are definitely some people, maybe a lot of people, who are only interested in their own problems. These are the ones who complain about only being able to buy a new, mid-tier car around friends who have to walk to work because they can't afford to put gas in their decade-old clunker, or who bitch about their parents giving them a free ride to college (because who wants to go to school when they don't have to, right?) when they have friends who have to go into debt to attend school, or can't go to college at all because there's no way they could afford it.

Some people do misuse the saying, as if one person's problems are immediately devalued because other people have problems, but that's not how it works. In example, it's good to remember that sexual and ethnic minorities outside the US often have it worse than those same minorities in the US, but you can acknowledge that while still knowing that there is discrimination in the US, and that there's still a long way to go before anyone should be resting on their laurels or thinking that the problems are "solved."

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