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 Post subject: Complaining
Post Posted: May 30th, '14, 02:36    


AsheSkyler
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One thing I've come to notice is just how much people complain. Three examples.

1. A guest asks to visit their friend, and the whole time they're there they are nitpicking the host's decorations, cleanliness, furniture arrangements, everything, and even complains about parts of the hosts family relationship. ("I wouldn't let my husband watch TV, I'd make him do yardwork every night!") And the host isn't living in a pig sty or having serious problems, they just hasn't dusted this week yet, the kids didn't pick up their toys last night, and the non-working parent is fine with letting the working one get some rest in the evening. Nothing life threatening or dangerous.

2. A guest asks for something to eat, the host makes their request, and brings them something, and the guest turns their nose up, tells the host everything that was done wrong, and the food ends up getting thrown away.

3. A person asks to see what an artist is drawing (or rudely demands and then starts pushing the artist's hands away or tries to snatch the paper, as in my experience), and immediately upon seeing it starts nitpicking everything they don't like. They prefer a different breed of animal, the head turned a different way, little stupid stuff.

The only thing on that list I've been subjected to is the third one, and I remind them I have a "pay to complain" policy. I really don't have time to address nitpicking for those that aren't paying me to draw for them.

Why do people think they're entitled to complain so much? Does nobody appreciate anything anymore? Would it kill them to keep their tongue in check when not specifically asked for input, or heaven forbid, say something nice? Even more confusing, half the time the target of the complaints acts like it's nothing. I don't get it. Is it the American way to be a rude little prick and it's socially unacceptable to call somebody out on it, or is it like that every where? And WHY do we let it be that way? People worldwide can't be that scared of confrontation if they continue to keep company with these miserable blokes!

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 Post subject: Re: Complaining
Post Posted: Jun 2nd, '14, 20:26    


AstaTheBroken
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I feel like part of it has to do with how people are brought up. If people are spoiled as children, they end up acting entitled as adults (as far as I've seen, at least).

I was born at the cusp of Gen X and Gen Y, and, lemme tell you, I identify a lot more closely to Gen X, because of how my parents raised me. I felt, when I went through high school and college, that each year younger than me the other students were, the more selfish and vapid they became. (I realize this is a generalization, and that most of the members of this site are younger than I am, it's nothing against any one person, just my observation on the cohort in general).

I seriously feel like the root cause of complaining, as opposed to appreciating what has been done for you (especially in situation 2, how rude!), is the mentality that everyone is special and should get an award for participating. No, you're not special, you should feel grateful that I went out of my way to cook you something! I didn't have to do it, so suck it up and eat your rectangular-instead-of-triangle sandwich.

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 Post subject: Re: Complaining
Post Posted: Jun 2nd, '14, 22:59    


AsheSkyler
Amen to that. I mostly identify with my parents too. Maybe because we both like Bon Jovi? ;)

And I kind of wonder what lead to raising people this way if that is the cause. I've heard rumor of a school system (might just be an internet rumor) of replacing D and F with "not yet" on report cards and tests. What are the "authority" figures so scared of that they are over-coddling everybody? It can't be an angry mob, that hasn't happened outside of Black Fridays for a long time. The worst that seems to happen these days is an angry/tearful YouTube video.

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 Post subject: Re: Complaining
Post Posted: Jul 28th, '14, 20:25    


xBDMx
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I have been subjected to the first two. Honestly, I don't think it's purely a generation thing. It definitely does influence how we grow up, but I also think it's a combination of how children are raised and also how the community around them functions. I grew up in foster care, but a LOT of my foster siblings were self-entitled. This wasn't a generation thing. This was purely an upbringing thing. I saw how they acted with our foster parent as opposed to how they acted with their biological parents. Some of them were extremely selfish or self-entitled because parents had a really hard time saying no.

It's natural for you to want to give the world to your children. My dad was much the same way growing up. We weren't wealthy, but my dad always tried to make sure our lives were enriched with activities and opportunities. He would scrimp and save for months just to plan a small road trip to the state's capital to visit our grandparents for a day. If we hadn't lived that close to begin with, he might have planned a different activity, but it was essentially like that my whole life.

He also grew up poor, and in many ways, it's what goaded him to work so hard for us before he became disabled. My mother, on the other hand, grew up in a middle class household. She was one of those children who wanted for nothing. She also grew up with parents who taught her the value of things though, and they were good at making her earn what she wanted. She also worked hard to give us the world, and works hard to this very day.

They made us kids work too. By the time I was sixteen and FINALLY could afford a cell phone one my own, the kids at school were flabergasted that I was paying for it on my own. Their parents, like most parents, wanted to give them the world. Since they could afford it, it only seemed natural to get their kids their own cell phones.

This is merely an example though, of why I feel it's a combination of upbringing and how a community functions. When I lived in a smaller town, it wasn't as uncommon to see kids working extremely hard for what they wanted. Now that I live in a bigger town, I've noticed a lot more money flows, and a child's parents are more likely to buy things for them.

I think the only generational influence this has with us being "Gen Y" is that we just happen to have more technology. It's also a lot more accessible than it was in our parents' day and age. My cell phone only costs $45/month to maintain service on. That's NOTHING compared to what my parents paid ten years ago for the family to SHARE a cellphone to call our grandparents long-distance on.

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 Post subject: Re: Complaining
Post Posted: Jul 28th, '14, 22:11    


AsheSkyler
Ahhh, yes, "spoiled brat" syndrome. How could I forget that? @[email protected]

Growing up poor can be pretty rough, especially when all that keeps you from going hungry is the generous neighbor's garden, but at least you do learn to appreciate things. Like hand-me-downs. Free clothes without having to be on the road or deal with crowds? Jackpot!

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 Post subject: Re: Complaining
Post Posted: Jul 28th, '14, 22:39    


light_sucks
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Those are some extremely rude things. I'd kick those assholes out of my house and not hang out with them anymore.

I mean, I complain a lot but I don't insult people like that.
If anyone acted like that around me they better be prepared for me to rip them a new asshole. I hate rude people.

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 Post subject: Re: Complaining
Post Posted: Jul 29th, '14, 23:35    


wolfcat87
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I straight up tell people to knock off their nastiness or get out. Especially if they are in my house. I can't stand people being nasty for no good reason. I'm the type of person who is hesitant to complain even if my order is wrong at a restaurant.

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 Post subject: Re: Complaining
Post Posted: Oct 31st, '14, 12:43    


AsheSkyler
Me too. Besides, the order may be wrong but it still may taste good! I'm such an opportunistic glutton. XD

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