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"Owing" your parents
http://www.kofk.de/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=54932
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Author:  Heine_Ram [ Oct 29th, '14, 20:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

To good parents who actually have care for their child, I think it is owed from the child when they become mature enough to realize just how much their parents to for them that they really start working to make their parents proud and respect them enough. I think also in your sense of "owe" parents comes when the us the children take care of our elderly parents when they can't and still love them for all that they are. That is the true cycle and I will do everything to pay back my parents with as much love and respect as they have showed me.

Author:  HeartofSteal [ Oct 30th, '14, 10:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

I owe my parents a fortune.

If the children can, they should take care of their parents when they're older and independent. Sometimes I think that that's people's incentive when they're choosing to raise kids. That's why you'd see rich people have less children and poorer people with more. There's a better chance of getting a kid that will provide for you when you're old and crippled.

Author:  JosieMule [ Nov 6th, '14, 06:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

I don't like this idea of owing people. In my mind, no one OWES anyone anything. Certainly a child can never OWE a parent, because that is madness.

Even with the best parents on the planet, I don't think a grown-up child owes their parents anything. A parent chooses to have a child and it is the parents' JOB to be the best parent ever. It's your job, and the job itself is your reward. Bringing owing into it is just twisting it and making it ugly.

I've seen a number of grown-ups taking care of parents they should not even be speaking to, let alone helping, because these parents were awful. This current idea that a child should or even CAN owe a parent anything seems to be a new disease to me, because in the past we always understood that it was the parent who owed the child everything, not the other way around. It's fucked up.

wolfcat87 wrote:
Whether or not you "owe" your parents depends on how good they were toward you while raising you. Did they do the bare minimum and consider you a success simply because you're alive at 18? You owe them little. where they horrible? They owe you. Were they going out of their way to not hurt you while they made your life great and help make you the best you could be? You owe them everything. Good parents won't be unreasonable in their requests for help form you and good kids won't deny their parents something reasonable.


What I think (or hope) you mean to say is that if they've succeeded at being good parents, the child will WANT to help them when its grown up. Because they will love their parents from a place of genuineness. Certainly you don't mean that the child should want to help its good parents because it feels it owes them. IT was owed fantastic parents from its birth, it's what we were all owed. Some of us got it and some of us didn't.

Certainly if I were a parent, and a fantastic one, I wouldn't want my kid to grow up and then take care of me because it OWED me. I'd want it to WANT to help me because it truly loved me and thought I deserved it for who I was.

Author:  Finx [ Dec 1st, '14, 06:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

I don't think I owe my mom anything but if she asks me for something with in reason I would give it to her only because she becomes a bitch about it. I would rather help my grandmother she's the one that I feel like deserves everything I can give her. Some parents ask like you owe them. For what I ask you? raising us? we didn't ask them to have us that was there choice.

Author:  alannahraven [ Dec 1st, '14, 22:44 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

Honest, for the first 18 years of life I don't think you owe your parents anything. However being 24 and still living with my mom, pain that she may be, I'm inclined to say that I owe her and my grandfather a lot. Especially since my grandfather financially supports me and puts a roof over mine and my child's head, and my mother for helping me raise my son.

I think there is a line however to owing. It ties in with my mom using 'betraying the family' as an excuse too often. Whenever I try to do something, whether it be moving out, or saying I want to go to college, or just thinking differently than the rest of them I'm apparently 'betraying the family.'

Sure I'll cook. I'll clean. I'll go grocery shopping. I'll play taxi for my brother going to college. Please remember however mother dearest, I am a mother as well. If I need to take care of my child that comes before anything else. I don't care about how much you 'back hurts' or how bad your 'headache is.' If you aren't feeling well do like you tell me all the time and 'suck it up.' My son comes before your complaints. And that's not me betraying you, it's a fact of life.

Ugh. That turned into sort of a rant. Whatever.

Author:  Manah [ Dec 3rd, '14, 23:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

JosieMule pretty much said what I was going to post.

Author:  [Butterfly] [ Dec 13th, '14, 21:20 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

Tbh, I didn't ask to be born. My mom likes to say I owe her this and that because of this and that, and it's like.... you didn't have to give birth to me ya know. I help around the house like I've always done. I obey her commands and let her boss me around, because she's my mommy. <3

My mom always told me as long as I was in school, I didn't need to pay her. I'm in college now, and my bf lives with us. He pays her, but only for him not for me. My mom treats my little sister and her bf differently though, which reaaaally irks me.

Author:  AsheSkyler [ Dec 14th, '14, 02:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

Aerin wrote:
I do feel like I owe to my kids to keep the link between them and their grand parents, and that I owe my parents to see their grand kids and to enjoy their moments with them, but that's something related to the kids, not really to me only.


Same here. There are greater familial duties once kids come about. But so long as the grandparents, aunts, and extended family are all reasonable, it's not that much of a burden on me. =)

Author:  Mirinda [ Dec 16th, '14, 14:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: "Owing" your parents

This is interesting I dont think we owe them anything in the real sense of the word because they chose to have us or to raise us it was their election their path...though we owe them respect and aid meaning if they need anything we should br there for them as an act of kindly return

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